NT Chicken:
  Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.


OS/2 Chicken:
  It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet
  that nobody noticed.


Win 95 Chicken:
  You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook
  it and it still tastes like ... chicken.


Microsoft Chicken (TM):
  It's already on both sides of the road.  And it just bought 
  the road.


OOP Chicken:
  It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.


Assembler Chicken:
  First it builds the road ...


C Chicken:
  It crosses the road without looking both ways.


C++ Chicken:
  The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer 
  to him on the other side.


VB Chicken:
  USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)


Delphi Chicken:
  The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the 
  other side.


Java Chicken:
  If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
  download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)


Web Chicken:
  Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running


Gopher Chicken:
  Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.


Newton Chicken:
  Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
  across the road in your pocket !


Cray Chicken:
  Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it
  in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
  cooked.


Quantum Logic Chicken:
  The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the
  road until you observe it on the side of your course.


Lotus Chicken:
  Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!


Mac Chicken:
  No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the
  road, so there's no way to tell it to.


Al Gore Chicken:
  Waiting for completion of NCI (National Chicken-crossing
  Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming
  he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.


COBOL Chicken:
  0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
      IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
         PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
         VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
            ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
      ELSE
         GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING